Although I continued to successfully teach another couple of courses, I searched for another job desperately. I knew I could have a good solid career in teaching if I committed to it but, teaching just was not for me. Good teachers have special qualities that I did not have, but was pretending to have, just to make it. I still remember students and I often heard from the administrative office that students were requesting me for their next class. I was flattered but knew if I continued to teach it would not be fair to me or the students, as I just was not passionate about it.
I eventually found a good job at a multinational company and, honestly, never looked back at teaching again. It was a good learning experience but that is all it would ever be for me.
There is a quote Charlotte Bronte made regarding teaching, that quite accurately described my thoughts on it:
“The thought came over me: am I to spend all the best part of my life in this wretched bondage, forcibly suppressing my rage at the idleness, the apathy and the hyperbolic and most asinine stupidity of these fat headed oafs and on compulsion assuming an air of kindness, patience and assiduity? Must I from day to day sit chained to this chair prisoned within these four bare walls, while the glorious summer suns are burning in heaven and the year is revolving in its richest glow and declaring at the close of every summer day the time I am losing will never come again?”
It might be a bit harsh, but for the most part, I can relate. With my first course, I was having such a hard time and it had such a huge impact on me that I was having nightmares of students chasing me! I knew that was a sign I needed to find another line of work.
Teaching is a great career for some people and just not the best career choice for others, like me. After my experience, I had a newfound respect and appreciation for every teacher I had ever had.